You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize