The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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