I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
