Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
