Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
