I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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