three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
