Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize