Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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