I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
