capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
