Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
