lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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