I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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