My brain says no but my pants say off.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
