the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
