I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize