you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
