billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
