Sry I called you an 8
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
