Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
