Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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