Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
