I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
