If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize