She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
