No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
