butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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