So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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