i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
