I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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