people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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