why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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