Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
