Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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