Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
