I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize