Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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