cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
