He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
