i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
