Me. At least after what I've been through.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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