Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
