u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
