she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
