youre lurking in front of me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
