he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
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At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
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At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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