so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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