Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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