i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
