Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
