The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
