I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
