Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize