i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So squirting runs in the family.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
