You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
