you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
