Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
