Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize