Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize