In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
