I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
